Maharaja (2024)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 3/5

• Maharaja, a quiet Chennai barber, raises his daughter Jothi alone after a road accident kills his wife. A dustbin named Lakshmi saved Jothi during the accident, making it precious to him. When three intruders attack Maharaja and steal it, he approaches the police, offering money for its recovery. The investigation gradually reveals that Maharaja is secretly hunting the men who assaulted Jothi while he was away.
• Seems like South India is currently obsessed with the Oldboy (2003) twist. We already had Iratta (2023). Now this.
• Non-linear screenplay was good. The two stories were actually 15 years apart.
• The cops eventually helping Maharaja – toned down the entire revenge saga.
• IMDB #223. Seriously ? The entire rating system is hijacked.

QUOTE –
“If someone’s paying bribe in lacs then he’s burying something in crores.”

Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 1/5

• In 2007, three years before the Lambert haunting, teenager Quinn Brenner asks psychic Elise Rainier to contact her dead mother, Lily. Elise senses a dangerous presence and warns Quinn against trying again. Soon after, Quinn is struck by a car and breaks both legs. Confined to her home, she is terrorized by the “Man Who Can’t Breathe”, a spirit seeking her life force. With help from Specs and Tucker, Elise enters the Further and confronts the demon.
• Some jump-scare are good.
• An avoidable prequel. Without James Wan, clearly it’s not the same series.

QUOTE –
Elise Rainier: [to Bride in Black] Come on, bitch!

Compañeros (1970)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 2/5

• During the Mexican Revolution, Swedish arms dealer Yodlaf Peterson arrives to sell weapons to General Mongo, but the money is locked in a safe whose combination is known only to imprisoned professor Xantos. Peterson reluctantly teams up with revolutionary El Vasco to free Xantos from an American prison in Yuma. They face the American mercenary John, who seeks revenge on Peterson for abandoning him years earlier.
• Action-Comedy-Revolution. A mixed-bag of nothing.
• Forgettable soundtrack by Ennio Morricone.

QUOTE –
Lola: We fight for the cause of liberty and justice!
Yolof Peterson: I’ve heard those words in every country where I’ve sold guns.

Runner (2026)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 2/5

• Hank Malone, a former soldier working as a delivery driver, is assigned to transport extremely rare blood type human liver needed urgently by a dying girl. He picks up Ben Bishop, the man responsible for bringing the organ. Their routine delivery becomes a deadly chase when a cartel boss also wants the liver is for his dying mother.
• What kind of buddy comedy film end up killing Owen Wilson?
• The movie is tagged as action comedy but the comic element is zilch. By the end of the movie we have a higher body count than Rambo First Blood (1982).
• One time watch for Alan Ritchson.

QUOTE –
Ben: Who? What are infractores?
Hank: A gang that’ll hang you from the ceiling by your testicles… if you make them happy enough.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 2/5

• In 1991, apes have become slaves after a virus killed all cats and dogs. Milo, now called Caesar, the surviving son of Cornelius and Zira, secretly lives with Armando, who hides his identity from authorities. After Armando is arrested and killed, Caesar is captured and tortured by Governor Breck’s officials. Caesar finally speaks, revealing himself as the ape feared in government predictions. He survives an execution, escapes, and secretly organizes other apes for rebellion.
• Roddy McDowall shines again in a new avatar as Caesar.
• Minimal dialogue approach by J. Lee Thompson but the story is pretty much straight forward.

QUOTE –
Caesar: The King is dead. Long live the King!

Idiots (2026)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 1/5

• Davis and Mark, two unemployed men, take a job transporting wealthy teenager Sheridan to rehab. Sheridan pretends to be a drug addict, but he is actually being sent away after burning a homeless man and seeking online notoriety.
• O’Shea Jackson Jr. shines as the god-fearing Davis.
• Apparent stoner dark comedy. More dark – occasionally funny. Definitely avoidable.

QUOTE –
I did four dancing parties today before I met you. Four. An office, two fraternity, and a construction site. One man put salad dressing on me for a joke. I am a singer. You know? I should be singing. But I made $240 today. And I want it back!

Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 
VERDICT – 4/5

• After Earth is destroyed, Cornelius, Zira and Dr. Milo escape in Taylor’s repaired spaceship and accidentally travel back to 1973. The three apes become celebrities after demonstrating human-level intelligence, but government adviser Dr. Otto Hasslein fears their future knowledge. Zira reveals that apes will eventually enslave humans, so officials decide their unborn child must be killed.
• The film that changed the franchise. Cornelius and Zira are at the centerstage. Brilliant performance from Roddy McDowall and Kim Hunter.
• Shocking dark ending. Watching Baby Milo say “Mama” in the climax, sends a chill down spine.

QUOTE –
Cornelius: They became alert to the concept of slavery. And, as their numbers grew, to slavery’s antidote which, of course, is unity. At first, they began assembling in small groups. They learned the art of corporate and militant action. They learned to refuse. At first, they just grunted their refusal. But then, on an historic day, which is commemorated by my species and fully documented in the sacred scrolls, there came Aldo. He did not grunt. He articulated. He spoke a word which had been spoken to him time without number by humans. He said ‘No.’

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 
VERDICT – 4/5

• Astronaut Brent crash-lands on the future Earth while searching for Taylor, who disappeared after discovering the Statue of Liberty. Brent reaches Ape City and meets Nova, then finds Taylor imprisoned in the Forbidden Zone. They discover an underground civilization of mutated humans who worship an ancient nuclear weapon called the Alpha-Omega Bomb.
• Tremendous makeup. James Gregory as General Ursus is looking great.
• The decision to destroy Earth is audacious and one of the boldest endings in franchise history.
• Fascinating concept of underground mutant society which follows nuclear-religion.
• James Franciscus as Brent was a needless inclusion. Charlton Heston could’ve led the story.

QUOTE –
Ursus: The only good human… is a dead human!

Tough Guys (1986)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 1/5

• After serving 30 years for a failed 1956 train robbery, aging criminals Harry Doyle and Archie Long are released from prison. They struggle with parole, retirement and a world that has changed while they were behind bars. Harry is sent to a retirement home, while Archie works several miserable jobs. Despite police surveillance and an old hitman trying to kill them, the friends return to crime.
• Watch it for 3 veterans having fun – Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas and Eli Wallach.
• Half-baked story and half-hearted execution. The ending is clueless.

QUOTE –
Belle: I warn you, I know karate!
Leon B. Little: [points his shotgun at her] I warn “you”, I know Winchester!

Stuart Fails to Save the Universe (Season 1)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 
VERDICT – 2/5

• Comic-book store owner Stuart Bloom accidentally breaks a quantum-interference device built by Sheldon and Leonard, disrupting the creation of the universe. Stuart, Denise, Bert and Barry Kripke travel through multiple alternate realities trying to repair the damage.
• The constant alternate universes can become exhausting. We have seen that in Rick & Morty and Future Man.
• Good but not great. Not funny for sure.

QUOTE –
Gary: Alpha Company didn’t make it back. Bravo Company didn’t make it back. And if you’re familiar with the alphabet, you’re up.
Barry Kripke: Shit.