Naked Lunch (1991)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

 

VERDICT – 2/5

 

 


PROS –
1) An exterminator’s drug-induced journey to the nightmarish surreal world of bugs, centipedes, shape-shifting talking typewriters, spies, and homosexuals.
2) Grotesque as expected from Cronenberg with some fascinating practical effects with prosthetics.

 

 

CONS –
1) Surreal set-up but an incomprehensible plot. It’s non-sense fiction.

 

 


QUOTE –
“Homosexuality is the best all-round cover an agent ever had.”

Hombre (1967)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

VERDICT – 3/5

 

PROS –
1) A group of stagecoach passengers are counting on a man for survival when they got robbed by a gang led by fellow passenger. It’s a social commentary on civilization where the fellow passengers were initially despising the character but eventually turned to him for help.
2) Paul Newman played the title character of the white man raised by Apaches. A unique character however very similar to “The Man With No Name”.
3) I’ll regard this movie as Martin Ritt’s version of Stagecoach (1939). The primary plot is same however he concentrated more on the philosophical part of it rather than going for a generic Western shootout finale.

 

 

CONS –
1) Another film where Paul Newman’s character dies in the end.

 

 

QUOTE –
Audra Favor: I can’t imagine eating a dog and not thinking anything of it.
John Russell: You even been hungry, lady? Not just ready for supper. Hungry enough so that your belly swells?
Audra Favor: I wouldn’t care how hungry I got. I know I wouldn’t eat one of those camp dogs.
John Russell: You’d eat it. You’d fight for the bones, too.

Dead Ringers (1988)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

 

VERDICT – 2/5

 

 

PROS –
1) Twin brothers and successful gynecologists are living a synchronized lifestyle and sometimes substitute each other in professional as well as in personnel life. Their understanding deteriorates when one of them falls in love with a drug-addict actress.

 

 

 

CONS –
1) There is no thrill, no mystery. Up to an extent, Nolan’s The Prestige (2006) borrowed some elements from the movie however there is nothing else in the plot.
2) It’s a slow movie with a few moments of Cronenberg’s trademark body-horror.
3) Apart from Jeremy Irons, there is a complete absence of a good supporting cast.

 

 

QUOTE –
Bev: There’s nothing the matter with the instrument, it’s the body. The woman’s body is all wrong!

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 

VERDICT – 4/5

 

 
PROS –
1) A scientist died leaving his unfinished humanoid in the Gothic mansion full of steampunk equipments. He’s brought into the town’s community by a woman and soon he becomes the talk of the town attracting new friends and foes.
2) Tim Burton’s trademark gothic protagonist straight out of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. In the movie, Burton created 2 distinct worlds. While Edward Scissorhands is dark & gothic, the town is vividly colorful.
3) It’s basically a bedtime fairy-tale of “a beauty and a beast” told by an elderly woman to her granddaughter. The theme is similar to King Kong, The Phantom of the Opera, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, etc.

 
CONS –
N/A

 

 

QUOTE –
Bill: Sweetheart, you can’t buy the necessities of life with cookies.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

VERDICT – 1/5

 

 
PROS –
1) A teenage high-school girl got informed that she’s a Chosen One, destined to kill vampires.
2) Some good acrobatic fight scenes.

 

 

CONS –
1) This coming-of-age vampire movie is all style over substance. Joss Whedon seems too much inspired by An American Werewolf in London (1981) and tried to recreate something similar.
2) A one time watch horror-comedy without a single memorable character. The boss villain Lothos (played by Rutger Hauer) was equally lame.

 

 

QUOTE –
Andy: They had this look in their eyes, totally cold, animal. I think they were young Republicans.

 

M*A*S*H (1970)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

 

VERDICT – 1/5

 

 
PROS –
1) Idiosyncratic adventures of an outlandish army medical unit during the Korean War.
2) The fumbling P.A. announcements at regular intervals are the only funny part of the entire movie.

 

 

CONS –
1) This writing is nowhere like Catch-22 (1970) which is a far better black-comedy with a military backdrop.
2) Robert Altman’s direction is sloppy and the poor-quality Panavision cinematography is not helping either.

 

 
QUOTE –
P.A. Announcer: Attention, all base members must report for a drug test for marij- marijua-… disregard last transmission

Commando (1985)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 

VERDICT – 4/5

 

 
PROS –
1) Colonel Matrix has 11 hrs. to rescue his daughter from the wannabe President of Val Verde.
2) An era-defining 80s action film with uber violence and one hell of a body count. This movie is solely running on Arnold’s toned muscle power.
3) A quintessential Arnold movie in all its glory. Every Gen X kid would’ve found a character like Colonel Matrix in some comic books, video games, or in a pulp magazine story.

 

 
CONS –
N/A

 

QUOTE –
Cooke: This Green Beret is going to kick your big ass!
John Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I’m very hungry!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

VERDICT – 0/5

 

 
PROS –
1) Grand set designs and props.

 

 
CONS –
1) A filthy, vulgar, and pukeworthy movie with an inconsequential sci-fi story.
2) I can’t even take this bizarre movie seriously as a musical as the songs are also terrible.
3) For a niche LGBT enthusiast audience, this movie can be appealing but for the rest of the audience, it a 100 minutes long headache.

 

 
QUOTE –
Dr. Frank-N-Furter: It’s not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache!

The Hustler (1961)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

VERDICT – 3/5

 
PROS –
1) Watch it for Jackie Gleason as Minnesota Fats, a player with talent and character.

 

CONS –
1) The entire subplot with Sarah was a drag, making the movie tediously slow.

 
QUOTE –
Fast Eddie: Maybe I’m not such a high-class piece of property right now. And a 25% slice of something big is better than a 100% slice of nothing.

Underwater (2020)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

VERDICT – 0/5

 
PROS –
N/A

 

CONS –
1) This is an Alien (1979) rip-off with an underwater creature.
2) Most of the underwater cinematography is hardly visible with shaky camera tricks. What is the point of making a movie when the audience can’t see anything?

 
QUOTE –
Paul: What’s the scariest part of a roller coaster? Waiting in line.