Zulu (1964)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 

VERDICT – 2/5

 

 

PROS –
1) An outnumbered British Army’s regiment facing an attack from Zulu warriors and their undaunting spirit. The best aspect of the movie is the scenic battle location i.e. Rorke’s Drift

 

 

CONS –
1) Even with an epic length and huge battle sequences, the movie is hardly passionate. Audiences can barely feel attached to any character.
2) We find shallow character development and poor acting. The grand battle of relentless attack by the Zulu deserves better treatment.
3) Even Kesari (2019), depicting a similar battle against odds, looks more vigorous.

 

 

QUOTE –
Colour Sergeant Bourne: It’s a miracle.
Lieutenant John Chard: If it’s a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it’s a short chamber Boxer Henry .45 caliber miracle.
Colour Sergeant Bourne: And a bayonet, sir, with some guts behind.

Without a Clue (1988)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 

VERDICT – 4/5

 

 
PROS –
1) A comedic take on Sherlock Holmes universe where Dr. Watson is the real detective and Holmes is merely an actor playing the fictional creation of Dr. John Watson.
2) The comedy is slightly slapstick in nature but still hilarious. Michael Caine’s performance as the bumbling Sherlock Holmes is extremely amusing.
3) The witty dialogues keep the movie entertaining throughout.
4) While the movie is an out-and-out comedy, the case is not. It’s an equally gripping case of stolen printing plates for £5 banknotes.
5) Jeffrey Jones perfectly fits the bill to play Inspector Lestrade.

 

CONS –
N/A

 

QUOTE –
Watson: Holmes believes your father has been abducted.
Leslie: Abducted? By who?
Sherlock Holmes: Abductors

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

VERDICT – 4/5

 
PROS –
1) Dianne Wiest as Holly: The runt of the litter with a happy ending.
2) Woody Allen as Mickey: An infertile divorced man with possible brain tumor going through an existential crisis. This plot was extremely amusing and better than the main plot of three sisters and their vexatious lives.
3) Max von Sydow as Frederick: An eccentric old artist living with his protege in a prototypical studio apartment. His ascetic monologue on TV was fascinating.

 

CONS –
N/A

 

QUOTE –
Mickey: Why all of a sudden is the sketch dirty?
Ed Smythe: Child molestation is a touchy subject and the affiliates…
Mickey: Read the papers, half the country’s doing it!
Ed Smythe: Yes, but you name names.
Mickey: We never-we don’t name names, we say “The Pope”!

Miss Congeniality (2000)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 2/5

Pros –
1) Fun and entertaining one-time watch buddy-cop movie.
2) Michael Caine as Victor delivered best lines.

 

Cons –
1) Mediocre antagonist with an ordinary primary motive
2) Predictable plot.No reasons to hate this movie and also no reasons to like.

 

Quote –
Victor Melling: They had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers’ daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have… Dirty Harriet!

Educating Rita (1983)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 0

Verdict – 2/5

Pros –
1) The first meeting between Frank and Rita is filled with funny & witty dialogues.
2) Julie Walters as Rita: Her Irish accent is top-notch
3) A great watch for bibliophiles.

 

Cons –
1) My Fair Lady: Redux
2) Poor editing
3) Smartly written first-act but slow second-half with a meaningless climax.

 

Quote –
Dr. Frank Bryant: Found a culture, have you, Rita? Found a better song to sing? No, you found a different song to sing, and on your lips, it’s shrill and hollow and tuneless.

Get Carter (1971)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 1

 

Verdict – 5/5

 

Pros –
1) Michael Caine as Jack Carter: The cold-blooded remorseless sadomasochistic anti-hero.
2) Quintessential Michael Caine film completed with his iconic black-trenchcoat and 12 Gauge Double Barreled Shotgun
3) Music: “Carter Takes a Train” – Carter’s journey from London to Newcastle.
4) Final “J” plot twist. This elevates the movie reputation to a confirmed cult.
5) Definitive British gangster film.

 

Cons –
N/A

 

 

Quote –
Jack Carter: I’m the villain in the family, remember?

The Cider House Rules (1999)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 0

 

Verdict – 4/5

 

Pros –

1) An emotional roller-coaster ride at the orphanage
2) Strong screen-play – a companion movie to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
3) Alluring shooting locations

 

Cons –

 

N/A

 

Quote –

 

“Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England!”

Going in Style (2017)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

Verdict – 2/5

 

Pros –

1) 3 stalwarts together having fun.

 

Cons –

1) Another one in the list of films with adventures of senior citizens.Similar to Last Vegas, Stand Up Guys, Grudge Match etc.
2) It’s up to the director if he wants to leave a mark or just make a comedy-caper.There are so many loop-holes in the heist plan that it’s best not to discuss it.

 

 

Quote –

“It’s a culture’s duty to take care of it’s elderly”.

The Man Who Would Be King (1975)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

Verdict – 4/5

 

Pros –
1) Good old moral story by Rudyard Kipling exploring greed and its repercussions.
2) Sean Connery & Michael Caine: 2 British stalwarts in a comedic adventure with a tragic climax
3) Saeed Jaffrey as Billy Fish – stole the show

 

Cons –
N/A

 

Quote –
Daniel Dravot: Now listen to me you benighted muckers. We’re going to teach you soldiering. The world’s noblest profession. When we’re done with you, you’ll be able to slaughter your enemies like civilized men.

Now You See Me 2 (2016)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

VERDICT – 0/5

 

PROS –
N/A

 

 

CONS –
1) Lacking the fast-paced unpredictable nature of its prequel
2) Painful to watch Michael Caine & Morgan Freeman wasting their talent in this garbage.
3) Daniel Radcliffe for only 4 scenes? That’s all? Shitty performance anyways.
4) The movie failed to explain the events of the prequel, establishing the prequel as a movie full of potholes.
5) Woody Harrelson: irritating twin version
6) Jesse Eisenberg is a one-film-wonder. His career is going south like Shia LaBeouf.
7) Terribly photo-shopped theatrical release poster.

 

 

QUOTE –
Arthur Tressler: Hell will look like a day at the spa once I’m through with the Four Horsemen.
Walter Mabry: You had me at “Hell.”