Barbershop: The Next Cut (2016)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

VERDICT – 2/5

 
PROS –
1) The plot is a commentary on the current socio-political topics involving the black community like #BlackLivesMatters, gang violence, and school shootings.
2) Cedric the Entertainer as Eddie Walker again got the best lines.

 
CONS –
1) The movie takes a light-hearted way of simplifying things with a sappy ending rather than diving deep and challenging political correctness
2) Predictable twist and turns.

 
QUOTE –
“They’re about to come in here with AKs and 47s and Desert Eagles, and we got nothing but witch hazel!”

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Night School (2018)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 0

VERDICT – 3/5

 
PROS –
1) This Kevin Hart comedy is a little better than many of his movies in past years.
2) End credits songs: “El Sueño” Frankie J & Humby and “Graduated (from Night School)” by Trinidad James ft. the Hipster

 
CONS –
1) Half fun is ruined if you’ve watched the trailer
2) Good first half and lackadaisical second half.

 

QUOTE –
Mila: Aren’t you a little old to be a pop-star?
Luis: Aren’t you a little young to die?

Girls Trip (2017)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 1/5

 

Pros –
1) Tiffany Haddish as Dina – the only actor who made this shitty movie watchable.

 

Cons –
1) A female version of Wild Hogs (2007) – only less funny.
2) A missed opportunity for director Malcolm D. Lee.

 

Quote –
Don’t worry, boo.I’m gonna put hands on them.I’m talking hot grits, extension cords, timberland boots. I’m gonna fuck up that bitch’s Instagram account.I’m gonna put two q-tips in his pee-pee hole, and I’m gonna walk him around. I’m gonna just wipe, just swipe in that thing and yank them out! And then I’m gonna stick my fingers up in his ass and tell him I’m checking his prostate, but really I’m gonna yank his balls out of the back of that motherfucker! And then I’m gonna put my fist so far up his ass, I’m gonna pull his heart out through that motherfucker, and I’m gonna “Kali ma shakti” that shit, just…Then I’m gonna stick my fingers back up in his ass, and then I’m gonna twirl them around and see if that make him giggle a little bit. Because I like to make a motherfucker laugh while I hurt him, you know what I’m saying?

Undercover Brother (2002)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 

Verdict – 4/5

 

Pros –

 

1) Unapologetically politically incorrect, racist and funny spoof of blaxploitation genre
2) Dave Chappelle as Conspiracy Brother – he got the best lines in the movie
3) Denise Richards as White She-Devil aka “Black Man’s Kryptonite”

 

 

Cons –

 

 

1. Chris Kattan – over-acting

 

 

 

Quote –

 

 

Smart Brother: I performed a full range spectral analysis on Miss White She-Devil’s brain waves.Then, I unlocked her subconscious using a special form of hypnosis.Then, I gently brushed her hair.Then, I reached deep within her tight little pockets and I found a list of The Man’s targets.

Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Scary Movie 5

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 0/5

 

Pros – n/a
Cons – Utter waste of time.The worst movie in the Scary Movie franchise.

 

Quote
Lindsay Lohan: I don’t wanna end up all over the internet. I pride myself in keeping a low profile. My private life is private.