Die Hart (mini-series)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

VERDICT – 3/5

 

 

PROS –
1) An action-packed comedic mockumentary where Kevin Hart is playing a fictional version of himself who’s done playing the comedic sidekick of the leading action stars and decides to become the leading man. For that, he is sent to get trained in an “action star school”.
2) All 10 episodes are less than 10-minutes long which is very refreshing and very revolutionary approach from Quibi.
3) A good ensemble of actors. Watching John Travolta in a fun role was the best thing.

 

 

CONS –
1) The viewers can smell the final plot twist from a mile.
2) It could’ve been released as a 90 minutes movie instead.

 

 

QUOTE –
Claude Van De Velde: Do you remember what Matt Damon was before he was Jason Bourne.
Kevin: Yes. He’d just won an Oscar.
Claude Van De Velde: Neither do I

The Upside (2017)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

VERDICT – 1/5

 

PROS –
N/A

 

CONS –
1) Neil Burger added nothing new to the Hollywood remake of The Intouchables (2011).
2) I wonder how Nicole Kidman agreed for this petty role.

 

QUOTE –
Dell Scott: You can have any girl you want. What about this lady with all the Botox? You’re perfect for each other. You can’t move your body, she can’t move her face.

Night School (2018)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 0

VERDICT – 3/5

 
PROS –
1) This Kevin Hart comedy is a little better than many of his movies in past years.
2) End credits songs: “El Sueño” Frankie J & Humby and “Graduated (from Night School)” by Trinidad James ft. the Hipster

 
CONS –
1) Half fun is ruined if you’ve watched the trailer
2) Good first half and lackadaisical second half.

 

QUOTE –
Mila: Aren’t you a little old to be a pop-star?
Luis: Aren’t you a little young to die?

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

Verdict – 2/5

 

Pros –
1) Kevin Hart: he got the best lines in the movie
2) Alan Parish nod to complete the sequel connection

 

Cons –
1) Jack Black – great talent but still under-utilized
2) Generic Hollywood blockbuster
3) Every funny scene is already in the trailer
4) Mediocre boss & boss fight

 

Quote –
Finbar: I got a backpack on! You don’t get in water with a backpack, everybody knows that.

Ride Along 2 (2016)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 0/5

 

Pros –
N/A

 

Cons –
1) After a long haul of mind-fuck movies, if you wanna switch-off your mind watch this brainless cliched disaster.

 

Quote –
Ben Barber: The brothers-in-law just got to town!
James Payton: If you say that more time, I’m gonna shoot you in the face.

Central Intelligence (2016)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 0/5

Pros –
1) Cameos: Aaron Paul & Melissa McCarthy
2) Kumail Nanjiani & Kevin Hart Airport scene.

 

Cons –
1) Generic Kevin Hart. Seems like a Ride Along spin-off
2) Predictable
3) CGI fat Rock will be funny? No thank you.
4) I guess they are planning a sequel.

 

Quote –
Bob Stone: Phil, when this thing is over, I’m going to rip your throat out like Patrick Swayze in “Road House”.
Phil: Oh, my God, you and “Road House”. Get over that movie. It sucked then, it sucks now. The only movie that sucks more is “Sixteen Candles”.
Bob Stone: How dare you.

Grudge Match (2013)

Grudge Match

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR –0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 1

Verdict –3/5

Pros –
1) “Raging Bull Vs Rocky” Factor – a brave choice for both the lead actor to play a parody of their greatest role.
2) The supporting cast – Kevin Hart & Alan Arkin
3) Tyson-Holyfield in End Credits

 

Cons –
1) Cliched Story
2) Kim Basinger Love triangle

 

Quote –
Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp: Will one of you hurry up and rape this guy already?