Girls Trip (2017)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 1/5

 

Pros –
1) Tiffany Haddish as Dina – the only actor who made this shitty movie watchable.

 

Cons –
1) A female version of Wild Hogs (2007) – only less funny.
2) A missed opportunity for director Malcolm D. Lee.

 

Quote –
Don’t worry, boo.I’m gonna put hands on them.I’m talking hot grits, extension cords, timberland boots. I’m gonna fuck up that bitch’s Instagram account.I’m gonna put two q-tips in his pee-pee hole, and I’m gonna walk him around. I’m gonna just wipe, just swipe in that thing and yank them out! And then I’m gonna stick my fingers up in his ass and tell him I’m checking his prostate, but really I’m gonna yank his balls out of the back of that motherfucker! And then I’m gonna put my fist so far up his ass, I’m gonna pull his heart out through that motherfucker, and I’m gonna “Kali ma shakti” that shit, just…Then I’m gonna stick my fingers back up in his ass, and then I’m gonna twirl them around and see if that make him giggle a little bit. Because I like to make a motherfucker laugh while I hurt him, you know what I’m saying?

Madagascar (2005)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 1
CULT – 0

Verdict – 3/5

 

Pros –
1) Sacha Baron Cohen as King Julien
2) The Penguins: Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private
3) “I Like to Move It”

 

Cons –
n/a

 

Quote –
Skipper the Penguin: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.