Haywire (2011)

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

 

 

VERDICT – 3/5

 

 


PROS –
1) An ex-marine super soldier on her final assignment is betrayed by her boss.
2) A must-watch for the lovers of hand-to-hand combat actions. Gina Carano’s performance as Mallory Kane is franchise worthy like John Wick and Jason Bourne.
3) Watch out for the hotel fight scene between Michael Fassbender & Gina Carano.

 

 

CONS –
1) It’s a mediocre story with limited action scenes. The huge ensemble of stars is not helping.

 

 

QUOTE –
Paul: I’m assuming the motive of everyone involved is strictly professional?
Kenneth: Paul, the motive is money. The motive is always money.

The Expendables 3 (2014)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR – 0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 0/5

 

Pros –
1) Antonio Banderas as Galgo

 

Cons –
1) It fails its core fan-group; No great action scenes
2) Wasting time with new-comers while seasoned Expendables are just bench-warming.
3) Bad timing and overexposure of Arnold. (He needs to work out)
4) Why Patrick Hughes?
5) Mel Gibson fails the expectations if you are expecting a JCVD.

 

Quote –
Galgo: I need a job! All I know what to do is kill! Goddammit!

Machete Kills (2013)

STORY – 0
DIRECTOR –0
ACTOR – 0
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 0

Verdict – 0/5

 

Pros –
1) Lady Gaga
2) “Carlos Estévez”

 

Cons –
1) No Grindhouse factor

 

Quote –
Mr. President: Last time I sent a black op team into Mexico, they got dead and I got the Oval ass-fuck.

Assassins (1995)

Assassins

STORY – 1
DIRECTOR – 1
ACTOR – 1
MUSIC – 0
CULT – 1

 

VERDICT – 4/5

 

PROS –
1) Antonio Banderas’ swag in all its glory.
2) Great cinematography and some good action scenes.  This movie is high on style.
3) It’s a classic 90s action extravaganza which will attract viewers every time it’s on TV.

 

CONS –
N/A

 

 

QUOTE –
Once upon a time, there was this little sparrow, who while flying south for the winter froze solid and fell to the ground. And then to make matters worse the cow crapped on him, but the manure was all warm and it defrosted him. So there he is, he’s warm and he’s happy to be alive and he starts to sing. A hungry cat comes along and he clears off the manure and he looks at the little bird and then he eats him. And the moral of the story is this: everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy, and everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend, and if you’re warm and happy wherever you are you should just keep your big mouth shut.